Ode to a Dish-Face (with apologies to Burns)

Taut and full, is your lying ruddy face

Great bawbag o’ the Tory race!

In ‘yon contemptible Murdoch’s embrace

Spineless tripe, clandestine

Deals, a national disgrace

Bereft of charms


For grasping vested interests shill

Your buttocks parted just to fill

Rebekah’s columns for a thrill

In thrall to Brooks

While through your deals the patients kill

You venal crooks.


Still cut for cut, they stretch and strive:

Devil take the NHS, on they drive,

Their coffers swollen by PFI

They’re bent and dumb;

Hear Chairmen of the Board, laughing to burst,

‘The Dividend’s Come!’.


We pray to see that Labour wipe,

You off the map, you shower of shite,

Trenching your gushing entrails bright,

Lose your deposits;

And then, O what a glorious sight,

The seatless halfwits!